I was born to a poor Bulgarian family in the upper-west side of Brooklyn. At the age of 13, I became an apprentice to a half sane street preacher/shoe shiner, who taught me how to tie my bootlaces using only a magnifying glass and a tootsie roll. My sister, a quadriplegic prostitute, sadly did not make it through the licorice famine of 1989. She was laid to rest at sea. Unfortunately, it was high tide, so she kept floating back. We had to tied a cast-iron skillet to her ankle. It was our only one. In retrospect, I suppose it wasn't the best idea we had, sending our only skillet to the bottom of the ocean. After all, the family anvil was just collecting dust in the corner of the house...

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WINNER! Our official 200th fan is:
***J2daAmie***
Congratulations!!!

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